Changing My Mind

As you guys know, I struggled with Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas a few years ago. I actually went back and reread my review/post about my time and I wrote that, while it was a struggle, I did like it. Towards the end. But if you ask me my thoughts on that book and my reading experience, I would say "A hard slog". It was a struggle to say to say the least.

This explains why I keep putting off Crown of Midnight. I know, one day, I'll read it. Just because I want to see if I can and if I get into the story more. Have forgotten near everything from Throne of Glass so will be returning to this world blind.

But that didn't stop me from trying. Just before A Court of Thorns and Roses came out, I was lucky to get an eProof of it. A retelling of Beauty and the Beast? With faeries? And it's New Adult - an age group I've not read much/anything in? Where do I sign up?

But within two chapters, I DNFed it. I didn't click with the writing, hated the main character's family and wasn't exactly a fan of the main character herself. Plus, with rumours that there was a few sexual scenes coming up later in the book that can/have been read as non-consental via drink and drugs, this threw me out into a "No way in hell am I reading this!"

And I still hold those views. Let me make this clear. I don't want to read this if out

But something happened a few days ago when I wasn't feeling well: I was listening to a podcast (Read That F***ing Book) and, hearing their reactions and thinking of everyone's reaction, I thought "Did I judge this too harshly? I only read two or three chapters and I went so against it". So, probably because of the cold meds am taking taking, I saw a free eSampler of A Court of Thorns and Roses and downloaded it (it was free).

And I read the first four chapters. And I have something shocking to say - I kinda liked what I read.

I know! I'm in shock myself! I just thought "Will read these and that's it. Back to reading Invasion of the Tearling I go!" but I'm surprised how easily I clicked with the writing this time round and the start of the reimagining of this tale.

Maybe I did judge it too harshly. This is why it's important to form your own opinions. And, if your uncertain of a story, reread it at a later date and see how you feel about it then.

So, where does this leave me with this tale? I clicked with the writing now so should I try and go read this when I have the time (and my TBR pile is much MUCH less! I have a lot of books to read and, recently, been craving LGBT and thrillers!) or should I leave this alone and move on with my reading life?

Answer, dear reader: I have no idea. I know I won't be so harsh on Sarah J Maas as I was before, but there is still trouble in her books that makes me hesitated. The non-consental sex scenes in this, the non-consental use of drugs and alcohol and the diversity issue. OH! The diversity issue in Sarah J Maas's writing (from the looks of it, she writes mainly straight, white characters - something that I find very hard to believe in the worlds she's creating - this goes with all series, FYI).

So, while there are issues and issues I will be grinding my teeth over and hissing like an angry cat towards the skies about, I'm not going to rule reading this out completely. We shall see... Maybe one day... but that one day isn't today...

DNFing Audiobooks - Should I?

Every now and again, I like a good audiobook. Sometimes, it can't be helped. And most of the time, I get sucked into an audiobook and I just can't stop listening.

But the last few I tried to listen to, I've just stopped. I've DNF (Did Not Finish, for those you who aren't aware of the shorthand) them. And it's a mix of reasons. My mood or me just going "Are you kidding me?!"

And, oh the guilt!

Now, I always feel like I'm writing these types of blog post every now and then, in a way to be more honest. An Open Letter, explain why I've stopped reading a book, whether that is a book I have bought or a book I have requested for review. I will link you to both posts here (An Open Letter about Delirium) and here (When Is It Time to Stop?).

But these are books or ebooks. I have never had this problems where I want to DNF an audiobook. I have been very lucky to find audiobooks where I get so caught up in the moment. But there have been a rare few times when I had to stop because I was getting angry or quite upset over it and I had to stop. Am going to talk about the only 3 audiobooks this has happened to (and two of them were for review, which makes this oh, so much worse!), but there are more and I might list them before.

The first was an audiobook I bought. Apple Tree Yard by Louise Doughty. Now, I really listened to sampler of this and this was one of those books where everyone seemed to be talking about it. Everyone. So I bought it and listened. I got to around the three hour mark and I had to stop because I was getting so angry with the story. Angry and frustrated. I didn't like the main character, I hated the "It was only an affair, but look how bad it turned" storyline and I loathed how the story was told: the main character talking to us as if we were the person she had the affair with.

The second was Your Are Dead by Peter James. I'm a fan of crime and this just sound perfect for me when I was offered to review it. I was really excited as well. But I got over an hour into it and not only was i beginning to feel that this was going to become predictable, but there was one scene that I found quite disturbing. Now, I have quite a strong level to things like this, but for some reason, this unnerved me. And then the predictable storyline began again and I felt began to go "Am I enjoying this?".

When you ask yourself this when reading/listening to a story, that's not a good sign in my opinion. You're second guessing yourself. With a story, you shouldn't be thinking that, you should be in the story.

The third audiobook is Finders Keepers by Stephen King. This is the sequel to Mr. Mercedes, an audiobook I forced myself to finish as it's my first Stephen King and I wanted to finish the audiobook before I passed judgement. But when this came up for review, I was a little hesitant over it. I struggled with Mr. Mercedes, but I thought, as I found my stride quite late in the audiobook that I thought this would carry over into Finders Keepers. This isn't the case, sadly.

Now, these are still on my iTunes and I'm not completely ruling out returning to them (expect Apple Tree Yard - sorry, but no. Just no). But is the same rule I have for DNFing books and ebooks carry over to audiobooks? Or, because it is a different format, I should try and continue onwards?

What do you guys think? I feel guilty over this as it's audiobooks and I love a good audiobook, but it feels weird quitting audiobooks. I have this attention that life is too short to read crap books and I want to read stories that get me excited and I want to share with you guys on my blogs. I would like to read stories that I can have discussions over due to issues raised in the stories.

But to force myself to read/listen to stories that doesn't grab me or hold my attention... that's where I feel uncertain as a book blogger. As a reader, I wanna quit and move onto the next books, but as a book blogger... I feel like I'm second-guessing myself.

So, am turning to you. When you are reading a book, an ebook or listening to an audiobook and it's not grabbing you, do you stop and move on or do you power on through?

When Is It Time To Stop?

This isn't a review - well, not really. But a question I have over reading this, but with reasons why I stopped reading the book in question (as I want to be more honest to you guys and myself. Make this blog more open and fun!).

Over the past few days, I have been reading Cross My Heart by James Patterson - a book I got from NetGalley. And while it was light and fluffy crime read - ok, crime lite.

However, I've had real problems with it. I felt like I have read this before - with every James Patterson novel, it lacks substance. However, a few things happened last night that made me go "Do I really want to continue this?". The first was that a character - ok, the bad guy - did one or two things I just couldn't stomach. It made me feel uncomfortable - I get this is a crime and this is the baddie, and in most cases, I am fine with putting a line between fact and fiction. But this time - no. I couldn't do it.

The second was a lot of things were thrown at me. We have this killer, a murder of a celebrity with a possible sex addiction and drug addiction found in a "massage palour" and a missing child. Not to mention a missing family member from the Cross family. TOO MUCH!

The third was that I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't enjoying it.

And I was only 30% in.

Now, I know some of you guys have rules about reading stories, like if you're not feeling a book within the first 100 pages, you stop. Or if you are under half way.

But that's with a real book. What if you are reading an eBook? Do the same rules apply?

I had this problem last year. I was reading Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas and, around the 18-20% mark, I just wasn't liking it. I found it hard work and I didn't know whether to continue. But I did keep going and I found myself finishing it and liking it. Not a great deal, but I do have the sequel (impulse buy. No idea why bar that).

And yet, it felt weird giving up on Throne of Glass and Cross My Heart when, a few years back, I openly chatted to you guys about me deciding to stop reading Delirium by Lauren Oliver. This was a hardback and while I struggled with it, I accepted that I wasn't enjoying the book and stopped reading it.

Life is too short to read crap books. So why is that ok but with eBooks, it feels different somehow?

So, readers, what do you do when you're reading a book or eBook that you aren't feeling? Do you stop? Do you keep going? When is it ok to stop and go "I gave you a fair try and it's not going to work..."?

Leave a comment, tweet or facebook me and let me know as I am very curious over this topic...

An Open Letter about Delirium

Dear Reader,

Today, 17th March, I have decided to do something I rarely do with books.

I am putting the book DELIRIUM by Lauren Oliver down and read something new. I am on page 264 within a book containing around 400 pages.

For those of you who haven't read or heard of this book, Delirium is a dystopia novel where love is classed as a disease. Where, at the age of 18, you can be “cured” of love. The book follows Lena who, in 98 days, will be cured but, within these days, she meets (and slowly falls in love) with a guy called Alex.

Now, I hate leaving books unfinished. I hate doing it. But I feel I have to with this book for several and yet one reason alone.

I am not enjoying reading this book.

I'm sorry if you loved the book (and I know there are LOADS of you out there with love Delirium), but I am not enjoying it. I am finding it hard to read. After reading people's reviews and blogs and the hype around this book, I felt quite excited reading it, and after the first few chapters, I was excited myself. But since the end of chapter 3 or 5, the book just became... well, a drag. It felt more and more hard work.

And I know there will be people going “The last 100 pages! Read the last 100 pages!” but I can't see myself getting there. And, if I do read it, I'm not sure if I could like the book or find the book redeeming because of the last 100 pages. It just feels like I have read world-building and nothing is happening. Yes, it is a gradual realisation to Lena that the world isn't right, but it feels that NOTHING has happened.

Don't get me wrong. The book proposes an interesting idea and makes you wonder about love and wonder that if there was a cure for love, would you take it? (My answer: nope. Not a chance in hell!) And, there are moments in the book where the writing is beautiful. One of the most recent lines that made me go “whoa” is:

Snapshots, moments, mere seconds: as fragile and beautiful and hopeless as a single butterfly, flapping on against a gathering wind. (page 235 in UK hardback)

But I can't read this book in the hope that things begin to speed up or in the hope of finding gems of sentences. To me, reading should be fun and you should read a book because you enjoy it. If you don't like it, then don't read it. And I am going to do what I preach. I've done to myself in the past – read books that I find hard work and end up hating – and I won't do that.

So, I am putting the book down and leaving it. I hope to return to this book in a few months time and either start again or start from where I left off. Maybe a break from it will refresh my brain.

*

Because I failed (but hope to return and complete) on reading on Delirium didn't mean I had music linked to this book. So, I hope this music is a good replacement.