“Gentrificapocalypse Now” by Sad Receptionist

I am excited to welcome the Nick Bryan onto this blog. The third book in Hobson and Choi series, Trapped in the Bargain Basement, has just come out this month. One of the characters I was curious over when I read the first two books in the series was the Sad Receptionist (Nick is going to talk about him a little further down) so when I was asked if I wanted Nick to come on the blog, I jumped at the chance to know more about this character. And this post below is what I got!

Before I hand this post over to Nick and the Sad Receptionist, I must thank Nick for taking time out to write this post and to Faye for asking if I wanted to be involved.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE – Sad Receptionist is a fictional character from the Hobson & Choi darkly comic crime series by me (Nick Bryan, hi). He is a bored young man who posts meaningful yet juvenile poetry on social media. Follow him on Twitter as @SadReceptionist or check out the H&C books (especially the second one) to discover his secret origin. He also has two 'collections' of poetry on Storify.

Now it's time for his first full length blog post: an epic poem about the relevant social issues around gentrification. Well, mostly it's about him. Big shock.]

Every day I wake up

and go to work in London,

amidst reams of free newspapers

for tramps to wipe their bums on.

I live and work in Peckham

which used to be quite shitty

but now it's full of coffee shops

just like the whole damn city.

You'd think I'd be all about

CostaNeroBucks desecration

as I am the core demographic

for endless gentrification.

But I work on a reception desk

for about two pounds an hour.

I glare at all the residents

but have no actual power.

So despite being a white male

with floppy hair and a cardigan

I live in constant terror of

Subway declining my card again.

Every time my school friends

post another picture of cats

I know my cheap shared house

moves closer to becoming flats.

I either drink in cheap pubs

crying over all I lack

or get laughed out of coffee shops

for not having an Apple Mac.

I always get lost in Shoreditch.

I don't know how to twerk.

I can't justify cool glasses

because my eyes actually work.

I explained this to my Mum

struggling not to cry.

She said “Hashtag first world problems!”

and now I want to die.

I tried befriending other poets

but even that didn't stick.

They said “Your work doesn't scan

and also you're a prick.”

Sometimes I start to worry

that a new Twitter follower

isn't quite enough to

stop life seeming ever hollower.

But I shall not give up

the endless struggle to cope.

A hardback comedy book deal

remains my only hope.

No, no-one ever reads them.

They're just token Christmas presents.

But I do not give a single damn

about wasteful spending by peasants.

For I must realise my dream

of moving somewhere cool.

The tworld of twendy Twitter

can be so horribly cruel.

-- a poem

GoodRead - Trigger Mortis

If you have read a post I wrote at the beginning of September (click here if you haven't), I have had a bad run with audiobooks of late. It was a number of things, but for one reason or another, I just couldn't click with them. So, when the lovely peeps at Midas PR asked if I want to review some audiobooks for them, I have been quite hesitant because of the audiobook nightmares I have encountered.

But, with Trigger Mortis, I was intrigued. I have tried (and failed) to read James Bond before but I do like Anthony Horowitz and I knew he can write spy novels well - I mean, Alex Rider, anyone? Plus, you have David Oyelowo reading. It can't be that bad... right?

Set after the events of Goldfinger, Bond is on his next mission. He is asked to go to the Grand Prix, driving on one of the most dangerous tracks in Europe, trying to stop the Russians from sabotaging the race. But when he sees an agent of SMERSH with a rich Korean - Jin Seung Sin - who people dub as Jason Sin (because they either can't pronounce his name or are too lazy to learn it), Bond's mission turns a turn that will see him racing against the clock because what started as a car race could actually be the biggest race of them all...

Like I said earlier, I haven't read Ian Fleming's books (only the movies - don't judge me), but I enjoyed myself listening to this. It had the essence of Bond from the books (I'm not sure if this would work if it was movie Bond) where he smokes too much, drinks too much and enjoys women (I am going to talk about this a little later). It was exciting, fun thriller, which made me remember that Anthony is good at writing thrillers.

Also, Anthony wrote a villain - Jin Seung Sin - that creeped the heck out of me, then made me feel sorry for because of his back story (how ironic that his backstory is reflected with the recent events happening in Syria  and refugees in general) then back to "This guy is nuts and doesn't care who he hurts!". I, weirdly, found him a fascinating character.

There is some problems with this book. But I can't decide if they are big problems that would ruin the book for me or problems with Bond as a whole. With two of them, I have a feeling it's Bond that's the problem.

The first is David Oyelowo's reading of Trigger Mortis. Now, I liked it. I could tell the characters apart, David gave the characters depth. But I can understand some write-ups that I have read where they aren't not happy with the pacing of David's reading. At some point, he does reading very slowly and then, in high action scenes, his reading gets faster so the listener has to change how they listen to the story.

Another thing that true Bond fans might have issue is that Trigger Mortis does try once or twice to make Bond more human - a product of our time rather than a product of Ian Fleming's time. Bond has conversations with people about homosexuality (which at the time was illegal - Pussy Galore was a lesbian in Goldfinger but Bond "turned her" straight by the end of the book) and he is still racist at times. But then, there are moments Bond does act a tiny bit out of character. There is a moment when Bond, about to nearly kill someone, decide to let him live after the man pleads for his life, telling Bond about his family. Now, Bond is a killing mission - nothing matters but the mission - so showing mercy is hugely out of character for him.

But my main issue - which is a huge thing I have with James Bond in general - is the way he treats women. We see him treating women badly time and time again in both the books and in the movies. He enjoys the chase, sleeps with them and then discards them without a moment's thought. And in any form of adventure (movie, book, etc), do we see him decide to be safe and use a condom? Of course, this is Bond!

But in Trigger Mortis, we have three "Bond Girls" (I am trying not to use that term. It's a bit degrading, isn't it?). We have Pussy Galore from Goldfinger, who Bond "turned" straight. She came back with him because she was in danger in New York. But the thrill was gone and, after she was in danger, she ends things with Bond after a few chapters. He wanted her gone for a while but she ends it, basically calling him out on being a coward when it comes to relationships. But, barring this, what exactly was the point of her being in this story? Was her appearance a nod to fans of the book series or was it to show us that Bond is a bit of a sexist pig? Whatever it was, her appearance was lacking and it would have been nice if she was more involved in the story as a whole because of the location of where the book ends. I thought she was going to be in the whole story, not for a few chapters... And with the other two, Logan Fairfax and, the main "Bond girl", Jeopardy Lane, Bond uses them and then dismisses them once their use is over. Logan leaves after she teaches him how to drive a Grand Prix car and Jeopardy... ok, that's spoiler territory but you can guess.

Bond treats these women badly - actually, he treats all women badly - and yet, here we are, kinda celebrating it.

Sorry, that is a rant for a later date, me thinks.

But yes, Trigger Mortis. It was a love letter from a fan to the author and it was a lot of fun. I do hope Anthony Horowitz is asked to write another Bond novel.

Brief History of Seven Killings - Chapter 1 Audio

A few days ago, A Brief History of Seven Killings won the Man Booker Prize. I have this on my TBR pile (I was allowed a copy when I went to the Rock the Boat Blogger Brunch as I kept picking it up and putting it down) so was excited when I was asked to put this audio clip of the first chapter on my blog. 

Now, I have been warned that this clip is quite intense and this goes on throughout the book so, a nice little heads up in order. There is dark scenes that some readers might find upsetting. 

But I can't wait to get my teeth into this book when I finally move my TBR pile about to fit this in. I hope you like the audio soundbite! 

However, if my blog is being weird and it isn't showing up, you can go to Soundcloud and listen to the first chapter there at https://soundcloud.com/audibleuk/a-brief-history-of-seven-killings-chapter-1-man-booker-prize-winner-2015/s-mDBVd. 

The A to Z of Railhead with Philip Reeve: Letter N

N is for Nova

The Motorik looked back at him with what he supposed was meant to be an encouraging smile. She had a cheap, generic face he'd seen on others of her kind; the eyes too big and too wide apart, the mouth too long. But there were patterns of freckles on her cheeks and across her small, straight nose. Whoever heard of a Moto with freckles?

In the previous entry I wrote about Motorik, the android underclass of my Railhead universe. Nova is one of them, a servant to the character named Raven who employs my hero at the story’s start and draws him into danger. I originally had another heroine in mind; Nova was just there to open doors and dump some exposition. But when I started writing about her I found that she had a sense of humour, and a story of her own, and she quickly started to take over. She seems more curious than other Motorik, or maybe just more open about her feelings (and about the fact that she has feelings). She doesn’t mind being a machine - she knows that she’s a very superior model - but she’s fascinated by humans. In the abandoned beach resort of Desdemor she whiles away her time watching ancient movies from Old Earth, and wondering what it would be like to be human. She’s trying out facial expressions, and she has worked out how to alter the pigmentation settings of her artificial skin to give herself freckles, of which she is very proud. She isn’t trying to pass herself off as human. She isn’t some Pinocchio character, yearning to be a real girl. She just wonders what it would feel like…

(Railhead by Philip Reeve is published by OUP. For more information, you can click here and check out Philip's website. The sketch used on this post was drawn by Ian McQue. You can check him out here to see more of his artwork. My thanks goes to Liz for asking me if I wanted to be involved in this tour - Thanks Liz!)

GoodRead - Fangirl

IT FINALLY HAPPENED, INTERNET! I must be one of the last YA bloggers I know who has only got round to reading this - my first Rainbow Rowell book and the big mama of her books, Fangirl! And I have known about this since its publication date and I have own (ok, won) a copy since the end of last year. But two things happened that made me go "Ok, I need to read this now".

1. I wanted to read Carry On. I mean, wizards. Kissing. Magic. And it's same sex kissing. But I was told that if I might want to read Fangirl before I consider buying Carry On to "get" it.
2. It felt like time. I felt ready to tackle it. I mean, the book must be good to get the hype and attention it's getting. But the hype worried me a little - what if the book didn't live up to my standards? Well, I won't know if I don't read it, will I?

So, *deep breath* here we go...

Cath and Wren used to do everything together. But they're off to uni now and Wren wants to be dance, drink, meet boys, leave Cath behind. But Cath would rather write her Simon Snow fanfic.

But going to uni will have to force her to be more open. Whether she wants to or not, life isn't going to stand still.

Ok, that's not the best description of this book. I'm sure a ton of blogs have written it better, but I don't want to talk about Cath's fan fiction writing. I want to address that later.

Once I got into the story, I liked it. I didn't hate it - but I didn't love it either. I liked it to see why everyone I know loved this book. I get why you love this book, Internet! I do! But, I did have issues with this book - and I will blame the hype around this book for this.

Let's talk about the positives of this book. I liked the characters. Well, all bar one - but I got why he was the way he was. I liked these characters because these characters were refreshingly flawed. They were flawed to a point which, at times, I did go "No one can be this messed up". And that's nice to read about. Humans are flawed and messy and we have more than one flaw. And the characters in Fangirl are flawed. I had mixed emotions over these characters - at times, I was totally on their sides and on others, I wanted to throw the book across the room (I feel sorry for Lucy aka LucyTheReader for, when we met at the Young Adult Weekender a few weekends ago, I had a rant at her about one of the characters. Did I, Lucy? Or was I quite kind? I can't remember - too nervous over our talk)

And I really liked Rainbow's writing. Once I found my stride, I sped through.

But it did take time to get into her writing. Now, I can't tell you if I had problems getting the hang on Rainbow's writing or if I had trouble getting into the book in general (aka the hype around this book). Let me explain. This book has been sold as the book to read if you have been inside a fandom. That this book gets a fandom. And as someone who has/is still part of the Harry Potter fandom, I should be totally on board with this.

But this book ISN'T about fandom. Let me make this perfect clear. This book is about a girl who is figuring out her life - trying to figure out her life and her place in the world now. And oh, she writes fan fiction. The fandom has NOTHING to do with this book - it's part of this girl's life but it isn't the driving force of this book - Cath is.

Now, I have one tiny nitpicking thing which annoyed me - it's no biggie. But it bugged me and I have no idea why. In my edition, it has bonus content. On the inside cover at the start of the book, there are cartoon drawings of the main characters in the books (see right). Which is cool. I like seeing them. Up to a point. I like imagining the characters in my head, but these drawings pushed themselves into how I saw these characters. The only character that fought tooth and nail to be different from the cartoon was Reagan. In my head, she was black (so was Professor Piper, actually). But she wasn't in the cartoon - she was white. Maybe these drawings should have been at the back (but then, where would that cartoon strip on the back inside cover go? It's revealing a scene and that could be seen as a spoiler...).

So, yes. I have read this book and I liked it. Not loved it like the rest of you guys (sorry - actually no. I'm not sorry. We are all allowed to have our own opinions). But I am going to read Carry On sooner or later. Maybe I can be brave and read one of Rainbow's other books *eyes Eleanor and Park...*

Let's Talk Sex Education

Before I go further into this blog post, I just want to make one or two things clear. First, it has been YEARS since I was in secondary school. YEARS! I can barely remember what I was taught, so I might be misremembering those classes. And second, any mistakes or errors made in this post are not the fault of the outside forces/help, but my own.

Ok, now we have that out of the way, let's talk sex education. Now, this subject has been on my mind for a while. Weeks/months, really. I don't know what made me sit down and think about sex ed, but I began to wonder. Wonder how sex education are taught in the UK. I'm not sure why exactly, but it became a germ in my brain. I had to find out more about this subject. Try and understand it, while trying to turn this into an out discussion.

So, I emailed the Department of Education. I went to the website and emailed them, asking questions about sex education. I asked when sex education is taught, how many lessons of sex education is taught and whether sex education includes sex education for same sex couples?

I got a reply back, but it didn't exactly answer the questions in a way I was happy with. While the Department of Education stated that sex education is important that secondary schools MUST teach it (it is compulsory) and teachers themselves decide when their students should be taught sex education.  No answer was given about how many lessons are taught nor is there is sex education for LGBT teens.

But there are problems with this. The first is that that teachers themselves decide when their pupils should be taught. But in most secondary schools, students have several teachers, one per subject. So, which teacher decides that the students in the class is ready for sex ed? And what happens if one teachers feels the class is ready and another disagrees? What happens then?

The second is that if you a gay teen, sex education for same sex couple isn't compulsory, though people would like this change. It depends on the school is question. But if the school decides against this, gay teens have to look elsewhere.

And this is where the problems lies. Sex education is about teaching teens about sex and safe sex in a safe environment. The word here is safe. If students don't feel like that they can be taught sex in a safe way and could open discussion, again in a safe way, teens will look elsewhere and in a world where sex is everywhere, it becomes unfiltered and might be unsuitable for those trying to understand safe sex.

Now, before you guys start going "Are you saying sex education is useless?", I'm not. I think it is hugely important. But, in a world where sex is everywhere - and I mean, EVERYWHERE! - what could sex ed do in the future to reflect the world around us? How can we be more open and discuss sex ed in a way that doesn't make us want to cringe and be all British and prudish?

Like I said earlier on, there is a ton of outside forces talking to us about sex. Sex sells in advertising, hence why we see men and women wearing very little clothing. But sex is in everything - we see sex in soap operas, TV shows, films, radio programmes, web series, advertising, video games. It's not exactly hard to find porn online - a quick Google search and you're away.

But let's look at sex in soap operas. How many soap operas show their characters having sex or one night stands? Quite often. Ok, how many of these are unprotected and led to unwanted pregnancies or STDs? Again, quite often. How many characters, after having a one night stand or leaving a long term relationship, goes to their doctors and ask for an STD test? Er... not many. And if they do, it's only after they are told that they might have an STD? No character, to my knowledge, gets tested because they think it's safe. How many characters in soap operas do we see buy condoms or other safe sex protection?

But we see characters go buy pregnancy tests or have the morning after pill. So, why is this ok, but not characters buying stuff to keep them safe?

While we're talking about soap operas, these and other medias could be seen as putting pressure of both young men and women to, not only be "perfect" but also degrading people in a way that young people could very easily see members of the opposite sex as not people, but as sexual objects.

For example, these two videos from Feminist Frequency show how certain well known video games treat women. Just look at how the Resident Evil treats their lead female characters and outfits that players can unlock.

Young men are being pushed this ideal of what the "perfect" man should be also, though this seems to be far more recent development. An example of this is in popular films and TV shows such as Captain America, Thor, Magic Mike, New Moon, True Blood and X-Men to name a few. 

Because of this, some people would point out that teens developing eating disorders and body dysmorphia have been on the increase. In male teens, this has increased sharply compared to ten years ago. 

If this is the case, why isn't this taught in sex ed classes, where students are told that they don't need to change to fit what the media or outside forces are telling them is "perfect" and "normal". 

And if this is the case, should we bring in another subject that is kinda important to sex education: consent. 

Consent is important in sex. Hugely important. It's important for teens (and adults - because there are some adults out there who seem to forget this fact) that when someone says no, it means no. So, in sex education classes, should consent be taught? 

Like I said earlier on, I am not saying sex education is failing students. It isn't. But sex education in schools needs to reflect the world we are currently living in. Opening up the discussion about sex education to teachers, parents and teens (maybe even doctors and GPs) in a way that makes sense to everyone involved but to show that safety is important. 

I want to stress again that I might be wrong - and if I am, I am sorry for getting information wrong or coming across like someone who doesn't know what they are talking about, but we need to open up the discussion. 

UKMG Extravaganza - Joanna Nadin

Welcome to my post to celebrate UKMG Extravaganza! Today I would like to welcome Joanna Nadin, author of Joe All Alone, to the blog to celebrate the wonders and joy of Middle Grade books!

But middle grade tackle tough issues, and in Joanna's latest, she tackles the subject of poverty as well as bullying, friendship and family.

In this guest post, that's exactly what Joanna is going to take about. About why Joe All Alone tackles the issue of child poverty.

I want to thank Joanna for writing this post and I want to thank Kerry for allowing me to take part in UKMG Extravaganza. Now, over to Joanna:

Joe All Alone is a book about friendship. It’s a book about family, and what constitutes that today. It’s a book about bullying. It’s a book about difference and acceptance. But beneath all that, it’s a book about one of the most fundamental needs in life: money. I know heat, food, water come first as basic bodily requirements. But they don’t come cheap. And they certainly don’t come free. 

So the premise is this: Imagine your mum tells you she’s going away on holiday with her boyfriend. And imagine she says you’re not going; you’re staying home alone. Exciting, huh? Because you’ve seen it done before: Macauley Culkin fending for himself in his suburban mansion, then in a swanky New York hotel. The thing about the Home Alone films though is that not once does Kevin have to seriously worry about what to do when the dollars dry up; he’s minted, and besides, his mom and dad’ll be home any day to bail him out. 

Joe Holt’s house, and bank balance are a different ball game. He lives in a rundown flat in inner London, he has no money of his own, and his Mum leaves him just £20 to get through the week. Does that seem a lot? You could definitely do a decent food shop with a twenty. But add the electric meter onto that. Add the money some kid at school’s demanding off you. Then add the fact that your mum might not show up back on the doorstep when she’s supposed to. 

You do the maths, as they say. 

There are 3.7 million children living “below the breadline” in the UK today. To give you a better idea, that’s 9 kids in every class of 30, and in Peckham, where Joe lives, it’s 12 in every class. 

The truth is, most kids aren’t Kevin McCallister, not even close. And too many are in families struggling to put food on the table, to turn the heating on, to buy second-hand shoes, let alone new ones. And it’s a growing problem. Thanks to welfare cuts under this government, another 700,000 kids will be in poverty by 2020. And if you don’t believe the numbers, you only have to look at the rise of food bank drop-offs at supermarkets, or in the number of our friends who rely on them, to see for yourselves how big an issue it is. 

Yet it’s not something we read much about in books, or see up on the big screen. Glamour sells, as a rule. Plus it’s not easy speaking out, let alone writing a novel or a film, when you’re struggling to pay bills. Joe All Alone, and the follow-up White Lies, Black Dare (out in 2016), try to give those 12 in 30 kids a voice. 

Listen hard. 

And if you want to know more, or help make a difference, click on these links. 

http://www.endchildpoverty.org.uk

http://www.cpag.org.uk/child-poverty-facts-and-figures

The Birds & Don't Look Now - NEW COVERS!

Today, I (with a bunch of other bloggers via Twitter - not me. Stupid work!) am unveiling the new new covers for two collections of short stories by Daphne du Maurier, Don't Look Now and The Birds. 

Shall we have a look?

I quite like these! There's something classic about it and, I believe these are hardback so the covers will look very classy! 

I'm going through a weird phase of not wanting to read short stories but am very intrigued over these. But what about you? Do you like these covers?